


Wraith

by MSW



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series)
Genre: Angst, Bridging Canon, Eventual Romance, M/M, Mental Illness, Red is Depressed, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8845213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MSW/pseuds/MSW
Summary: Red's life turns upside down for the upteenth time, and something inside him breaks.[UPDATE: December 28th, 2016] Due to circumstances I do not want to address, I am unable to continue working on this or any other NamelessShipping fanfiction I have. I may at some point in the future continue this, but for now, it remains at a mild cliffhanger. I apologize for the inconvenience.]





	1. Pallor Mortis

**Author's Note:**

> My take on why Red went up to the top of Mt. Silver and why he came down.
> 
> I know I don't really respond to comments, but I read and reread every single one and they mean a lot to me; so comments and critiques are very much appreciated!

He fought twelve league battles to make it to the champion’s room, only for his stomach to contort as he walked through the door. He wanted to vomit. He turned around, but the doors had closed behind him already. Fruitlessly, he banged a hand on the door. Across the room, that familiar, honey-sweet, mocking voice called out.

“You know you can’t turn back from a trainer battle.”

Red swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He turned to face the Champion. The Champion sat upon a plain throne far too large for him, the other child looking almost comedic in the chair. Red inhaled sharply. He didn’t want to do this. He wanted nothing more than to go home, lock his bedroom door, and sleep until he died. Of course, he knew this was an overreaction, but this was going to end badly no matter what. If he lost, he’d have come this far for nothing. His journey would be meaningless and futile. And if he won, he’d have to look the Champion in those big chocolate brown eyes as he yanked away the one thing he’d dreamed of. Red’s eardrums were ringing, and he didn't realize the other boy had been speaking until he looked up at him and saw his mouth moving. He didn’t hear a single word. Green reached for his first PokéBall. Red swallowed the rising bile again, his throat stinging.

They were both exhausted, and Red knew the outcome before it came. Green’s Charizard was part flying type. Pikachu was electric. Red closed his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Green as the final electric strike was delivered. He won the battle. He turned to run. He was bombarded by Professor Oak and Lance before he could. _If I puke on one of them, maybe they’ll let me go_. He pushed aside the thought, letting Lance drag him. He didn't listen to a word Lance said. The dragon master only sighed, continuing regardless. As soon as Lance finished his spiel and let him go, Red ran. He ran past reporters and trainers, ran past those going to wish Green and now him congratulations, ran until he collapsed inside Viridian Gym. He panted, a gross mixture of snot, sweat, and tears running down his face. A familiar Persian sniffed at him before softly mewling. Red sat up, leaning against the metal door before he shook, tears flowing heavier now and sobs racking through him. He pulled his knees to his chest and curled up tightly. He heard someone walk up to him, though nothing was said or done until Red uncurled, like a Squirtle peeking out of it’s shell. Giovanni had an uncharacteristically worried expression. The older man offered him a hand, and Red accepted. They walked wordlessly, the loud purrs of the Persian were enough to prevent silence. The halls of Viridian Gym were in need of repair in some places, and Red rationalized that it had something to do with the International Police break-in that was on the news recently. He looked up at Giovanni. The usually cold man seemed weary, stealing glances at the younger trainer when he thought Red wasn’t looking. He only broke the silence when they came to an open door.

“The last door in the hall is the bathroom, clean yourself up then come in here.” He instructed. Red obliged. He avoided the bathroom mirror as best as he could, washing off his mess of a face and his hands before retreating to the room Giovanni had slipped into. It turned out to be a kitchen. A small wooden table sat in the center, with cabinets, a long counter, and small appliances lining the wall. A kettle was boiling at the stove, and Giovanni stood over it frowning. He gestured to the small table without looking up once Red entered. Red again obliged. It was quiet again other than the water beginning to boil and the now softer purrs of the ancient Persian, who was curled up contently in the corner. Giovanni poured two mugs of tea, setting one in front of Red. He sat down across the boy.

“It’s green tea.” Red tensed visibly at the name, and Giovanni nodded in understanding. He may be evil, but Red had to give credit where it was due. The former Rocket leader was sharp as a knife, and brilliant at accessing situations.

“So, let me see if I can piece this together,” the former mafia boss began as Red cautiously sipped the still hot tea. “You’ve probably faced the Elite Four now, right? Of course. That’s the issue. That Green boy. He was already there, I’m betting.”

Red nodded. Satisfied, Giovanni continued.

“I highly doubt you lost. No, you would have gone home if you did. You came here because you knew if you went home you’d be reminded that you won, hm?” Red didn’t need to respond and he knew it, so he stayed silent. Giovanni nodded in acknowledgement. “See, what I can’t wrap my head around is, why here? How did you even know I’d be here? Hell, why me?”

Setting down the mug, Red stared at the almost cutesy Nidoran that was emblazoned on it’s side. He looked at Giovanni’s mug. It was a Nidoking. Had he not been emotionally compromised, he may have cracked a smile. He turned his mug to face Giovanni. He gestured to the Nidoran, then to himself. The mafia leader frowned as he brought his mug to his lips. He took a long sip before speaking.

“You’re a Nidoran? I’d say you were a Cubone with how depressing you’re being.” Giovanni smiled at his own terrible joke. Red snorted, smiling softly before he spoke, his voice cracking and hoarse from being unused.

“I feel weak.”

“So why here?”

“It was close and you wouldn’t congratulate me. You’d be rough and maybe a bit mean.”

“How did you know I’d be here?”

“I like a gamble.”

“Does this make you feel better?”

“A little.”

“Why does winning against your rival feel so bad?”

“Because…” Red trailed off. His throat felt like it was burning from being used so much so suddenly, but he didn’t pause because of that. He tried to find the words. “I want us both to be happy.”

“And losing made him sad, of course.”

“Yeah.”  
“I can understand that. Losing also makes me sad. But I can recognize when I’m beat. Don’t you think Green will do the same?”

“You’re old.”

“Rude child. You are both children though aren’t you… How bothersome.”

“What if he never talks to me again? What if he leaves me?”

“You’d have to move on, unfortunately.”

“I don’t want to move on. I want to be with him.”

“‘Be with him’?”

“I-I… I don’t know! I’ve spent so long chasing after him I don’t know where I’d be without him! I finally beat him and I feel like garbage! What am I supposed to do with myself now?! I’d follow him anywhere and now I feel like I just isolated the only person I cared about!”

Giovanni nodded quietly. He looked at Red with the look all adults gave children when they knew something the child didn’t. Red scowled. Giovanni took a moment to finish off his tea.

“Have you ever told him this?”

“Of course not. He hates me anyways.”

“Oh?”

“He’s always mean to me and mocks me.”

“Has he told you to go away or leave him alone?”

“No.”

“Even though you’ve kept beating him?”

“Yeah… He always says something cocky and then leaves.”

“And who challenges who?”

“He always challenges me. In Silph, he must’ve waited two hours there just to try and fight me.”

“Elaborate.”

"My throat hurts.”

“Tough. You wanted a little mean. Elaborate.”

Gulping down tea, Red coughed. Giovanni watched him carefully.

“He said he thought I might be there and that those Rockets must’ve slowed me down ‘not that I care’,” Red badly impersonated Green.

“So he waited there for you for… what was it? Two hours? Just on the offhand chance he’d see you.”

Red was quiet again. Giovanni shrugged, murmuring “just food for thought” as he took their cups and washed them out. Red rose. He looked at Giovanni, staring at the former mafia boss for a moment. The former Rocket’s silver eyes met his, and Red tipped his hat before turning away. He left far less unceremoniously than he had entered. The air was warm outside. Pidgeys sang overhead as Red walked to the Pokémon Center. Once his Pokémon were healed, he biked down to Pallet, jumping the ledges gleefully along Route One. He biked to Green’s house, hopping off the bike before it stopped all the way and frantically knocking on the door. It opened, and then quickly slammed.

“Go away!” The familiar, honey-sweet voice yelled not-so-honey-sweetly. Red knocked again softly, his heart thumping in his throat. He needed to apologize, to make this up to Green somehow. Instead, the other boy screamed through the door, his voice cracking.

“GO AWAY! I HATE YOU!”

“Green…” Red called out only loud enough to be heard. His voice was still hoarse and scratchy and he felt like clawing out his vocal chords with his bare hands. The door slowly opened. Green didn’t step out, so Red took the hint.  
The inside of Green’s house was simple, but nice. The walls were beige with numerous pictures hung all around and a bookshelf stuffed with Professor Oak’s research. Green flopped down on the couch. Red ghosted over to him, leaning down over him.

“Was winning not good enough? Are you here to mock me? Take it easy. You already won.”

“You know that’s not-”

“Shut up.” Green sat up properly instead of continuing to attempt to smother himself in the couch pillow. He motioned vaguely for Red to sit beside him. Sinking into the soft couch cushions, the Champion turned his attention to his rival. Green wiped at his eyes angrily. The duo sat in silence. They locked eyes. Red felt like there was a Voltorb about to blow inside of him. Green kept staring, his face a mix of emotions but mostly anger and sadness and oh, Arceus, Red wanted to rip into his chest and pull out the ticking Voltorb along with his heart that thumped so quickly with anxiety that he could barely—.

Red fell to the floor from the force. The pain didn’t register at first, but registered all at once when he realized what happened. He had no time to react before Green grabbed him by the collar and pulled him off the floor. He was pretty sure the inside of his cheek was bleeding from scraping against his teeth during the punch or maybe he’d just bitten into it; Red didn’t know or care too much as Green’s eyes were waterfalls and his voice rang out loudly with harsh words that said little. His hands held onto Red’s collar like his life depended on it. The voltorb continued shaking violently in his chest and Red was certain it was lodged in between his lungs from how hard it was to breathe until he started feeling hot liquid on his cheeks too and saltiness in his mouth and realized he was crying too. The Voltorb blew. He sobbed loudly and Green was taken aback before yelling louder to talk over him— the noises clashing together in a cacophony of anguish and anxiety and the Champion felt more like an animal in a cage or at least his lungs and heart did— _maybe my ribs shrunk_ he thought stupidly to himself at how tight and how hard to breathe it was. Maybe Green wasn’t grabbing his collar with white knuckles but his lungs themselves, slowly suffocating his pathetic, pathetic rival who defeated him and was the Champion and—.

Daisy’s soft hands grabbed her little brother. Like talons, her nails dug into his shoulders. Green went limp. She pushed him onto the couch. Drooling blood, Red shrunk back and cursed himself for how pathetic he had to look. Daisy pushed him onto the couch with the same force she had Green. The big sister who grew up too fast scolded the Champion and the former Champion, but Red’s pulse beat too loudly in his ears and Green cast him too many glances with his big doe eyes narrowed in anger and Red could feel his throat closing up again at just that expression so much so that he cut off Daisy mid-work by leaping up and running. Leaving his bike behind he ran as fast as his legs could carry him and as far as they would, taking a sharp turn in Viridian to Route 26 blindly and ran past the Indigo League headquarters to the side of Mount Silver that boxed the League in. Only then did he stop. Desperately climbing, he found the entrance to a cave and stumbled in. Deeper and deeper, he fought through the cave. The Pokémon pushed back but he was a man with nothing to lose. No. A child. An eleven year old with tears warming his cheeks through the cold cavern. The cave let out to a flat plateau. The peak of Mt. Silver. Snow beat down on him the second he stepped out of the cave. He pressed forward stubbornly, collapsing into the snow as the adrenaline wore off. It was freezing cold and he shuddered violently in his t-shirt and jeans, withdrawing Snorlax to huddle with the animal for warmth. As he lay on the blue creature’s big belly, face buried in fur, he thought over his situation. He wasn’t going down. He’d had enough of people. He’d become the very best; what more was there to prove? Besides, people were confusing and irrational and hurtful and he never wanted to deal with anyone else ever again. He hadn’t even said goodbye to his mother or Blue or Green. He nuzzled the Snorlax. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered.


	2. Algor Mortis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue pays Red a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to think that Blue and Red are twins. Also, I call Leaf Blue...

How he didn't freeze to death, Red was unsure. Maybe he’d already died without knowing it and now he was forced to haunt the peak of this mountain for all eternity. He sighed. _I can leave Mt. Silver at any time I want_ , he repeated as a mantra when the thoughts of entrapment bounced about in his mind. _I sound like an addict_ was usually the thought that followed. He recalled similar sentiments from the gamblers he’d battled back when he had a motive. The cave’s entrance was just down a flight of stairs; he could so easily leave. But he didn’t.

  
He learned how to set fire with Pikachu’s sparks, and to curl up with Snorlax in a nearby cave while the fire was still burning to keep warm during the night. He learned where the berries grew, and to keep his Pokémon in their PokéBalls to keep them safe from the harsh conditions. He boiled snow into clean water over his campfire in a leftover soda pop can that had been laying around in his bag. He was faring quite well, if he did say so himself. Days slurred together for him, but it must’ve been weeks or even months before he saw another person. He scrambled to hide when he heard the unfamiliar sound of footsteps, but was spotted in his mad dash.

  
“Red!”

  
He recognized that voice. He peaked out. Blue stood at the top of the staircase, her usual dress either covered by or swapped for a much warmer black coat, with her legs clad thick white stockings and black snow boots. She stared in horror at him.

  
“Red? What happened to you?!” She demanded, her boots crunching in the snow as she ran over to her brother. Her eyes widened as she studied him. He must’ve looked terrible; his clothes were dirty and worn, his hair was shiny with grease, and he was almost positive he’d lost weight from his sparse diet. Blue took a step back from him, taking a deep breath. Red just watched her. She took off her coat and threw it at him. Underneath, she had on a sweater dress— still not warm enough for the mountain, but certainly warmer than Red’s worn t-shirt and jeans. Gratefully, the Champion-turned-hermit accepted the coat, pulling it on. He gestured for Blue to follow him. She was reluctant, to say the least. But she complied.

  
It was warmer by the fire. Blue seemed more comfortable at least; she even smiled at Pikachu and Snorlax. The electric rodent plopped itself onto her lap and she laughed, petting it gently. Red observed her quietly, pondering why she was here and what she was going to do. _Is she going to drag me back down? Is she going to tell Mom or Green?_ Seemingly reading his mind, his sister spoke.

  
“I’m not going to make you come down. I’m smarter than that, you know.” Red smiled. Of course she was. It was Blue who meticulously completed the PokéDex and then went to work fighting the gyms, only to grow bored with it and slack off. _I wonder what gym she’s on now? Probably Blaine’s at this point or—_.

  
“Green’s a gym leader now, by the way. I thought you might find that interesting.” Blue mused, almost absentmindedly by the way she seemed more focused on petting Pikachu than her words. Red, however, jolted and visibly tensed, obviously not as casual about the scenario than Blue. Both his sister and his Pokémon looked over at him after the sudden movement. Blue elaborated, and Red’s heart sank. “Giovanni fled, so Green took over Viridian Gym. He’s actually pretty serious about it. He completely renovated the gym, since it was pretty busted up from that International Police raid two months back. He actually has a few trainers in the gym working under him too. He’s still pretty cocky, but he’s been taking defeats pretty well.”

  
Two months? Green taking defeat well? Green being a gym leader? Green taking over Giovanni’s gym?! Red’s head spun, the information almost being too much to process. He hadn’t even begun to recover before Blue delivered another staggering piece of information.

  
“He really misses you. We all do. Mom is worried sick. I told her you’re probably training or something but she’s convinced you’re dying.” She laughed humorlessly. “I guess you probably are dying of hypothermia, aren’t you? Or you will anyways, if you stay here like this.”

  
“I… I’m fine.” It’d been two months (or so Blue had said) since Red had heard his own voice, and he winced at the pain from suddenly using his vocal chords again. Unconvinced, his sister dug through her backpack, tossing him two PokéBalls. He looked up at her in confusion. Everything about everything she’d said and done was confusing.

  
“I told Green I was going to find you. He gave me his Charizard to give to you. The other ball is my Blastoise. I know you have two free spots in your party, unless you caught some new Pokémon while you’ve been here.” Blue put Pikachu down and stood up, looking at her brother with a mixture of concern and confidence. “When you’re ready to come down, Charizard knows Fly, and if you want to fight through the rock types instead; my Blastoise is a force to be reckoned with.”

  
Red stared at the PokéBalls in disbelief, the capsules suddenly far heavier in his hands. Their starters? He couldn’t take that from them. These were the Pokémon that always fought by their sides, that were there for every win and every defeat, and they were just giving them up? To him? The meaning of the gesture sunk in, and he clenched his jaw tightly. It was a gesture of trust and love. People didn’t give their starters to just anyone, after all. When he finally put the two balls in his belt and looked up, Blue had already begun leaving. He chased after her, and she stopped. He didn’t know what his sister’s team was, but he did know that she just lost a powerful member of it for him. He dug through his belt. It was almost painful, but he wanted to return the gesture and give her something to get back through the cave with. He extended Venusaur’s PokéBall to her. She looked at the red and white capsule in surprise, and gave him a smile, but shook her head.

  
“Maybe when you come down. For now, you need all the help you can get.”

  
“You’re going through the cave. If not Venusaur, take Lapras.” Red urged, pulling Lapras’ PokéBall from his belt and offering both balls to her. Hesitantly, Blue accepted the Lapras.

  
There was something inherently depressing about watching his sister leave down the cold mountain without him. Of course, he knew he could chase after and go down with her, but it was as though an invisible barrier kept him from even taking one step down the stairs. He watched her slowly disappear, pulling her coat tighter around him. Physically, he was much warmer. But emotionally, he felt like frostbite settled in. The numbness and emptiness that usually sat front and center in his mind returned, and he slunk back to the cave. Even if he missed Blue and their mother and his rival, he didn’t deserve to go back down. _Why not_? He had no answer. It was illogical.

  
The Charizard and Blastoise were freed from their PokéBalls, both creatures eyeing Red suspiciously for a moment before examining their surroundings. Red released his Venusaur as well. _Do Pokémon have rivalries like humans do_? He pondered this as he paced about the summit. He couldn't think of an answer. He turned to look at the three large creatures again. They seemed to get along well, though all three seemed cold from how they shifted their weight constantly and almost curled inwards on themselves to contain body heat. Promptly, they were all returned to their comfortable capsules.

  
Even in Blue’s coat, the cold air bit at the Champion. Was that still even his title? Probably not. _I ran away, champion's stay and fight_ , he reasoned, tending to the fire in his cave before curling up against Snorlax. Pikachu trotted over and plopped down beside him. The ghost of a smile passed over Red’s lips. _People would constantly be in my business if I was champion. It’s way better up here in comparison_. The thought seemed empty, hopeful for something that wasn't there.


End file.
